ISAURA FERNANDES
ENGLISH
TEXTS
 
TEXT

TUMBLED IDOL

Following the path of an idol to fulfill my dreams and glorify my existence, I flew to the mythological places, where the echoes sound and vibrate images of beautiful gods, full with divine powers.
Zeus at the Olimpo granted me a secret beach. A corner of my world.
There I would build a house to protect the dreamer, enwrapping him in the folds of his cloak, where peace and harmony would reign.
On the shapeless silver, I built, day by day; a masculine body to me mine only.
An Apollo thirsty for love fulfilling the plenitude of my wishes.
His lips would always be ready for my ardent kiss. And have Morpheus’s arms to enfold me when I grew tired.
That, under Uranus’s splendor, his eyes would only see the world where I lived.
From Minerva I asked the perpetuation of the essence of all her wisdom, to rule the peace and love in my existence.
With so many divinities sowing a fertile land, it could only grow a strong trunk, to flourish and bloom my reality!
In a desperate attempt, the more I dug the sand, higher stood my idol. He grew taller and taller...
And like the Supreme God, he was the Emperor of my Universe.
He stood in such a high pedestal that no matter how hard I tried, I could never reach him.
So I became his most devoted and loyal subject.
As a snail, I slipped into his shell, leaving a track of longing for his kisses and the warmth of his embrace…
Like a ghost because of my unconsciousness dipped in the disorder of my delusion, tired of my helplessness, destroying the carapace, I screamed: “Alas! What do you want from me, my Lord and Master? You became an Almighty God, gathering all the divinities in you?”
On the limit of supernatural forces, the gods cursed.
Gaea echoed, shaking the earth…
Tupan, in his fury, made the lightnings cut the skies with his flaming arrows…
In total darkness, the stars shut off, and even the bird migrated.
Neptune, commanding a big swell, opened his entrails, engulfing my secret beach.
He tumbled my idol and ripped his soul naked.
Then I saw he was not a god! He had no aura!
His soul was black as the night and hard as a rock!
I cried… I cried all my despair. While I cried, he laughed! He laughed at my pain, he laughed at my misery!
In the Chaos, in surprise, in disillusion, with my hand in prayer, I exclaimed:
“Minerva, can’t you hear my clamor? I would only beg you for my soul, as without your wisdom no one would dare so…”
Thus, my secret beach was banished from the Olimpo. I didn’t know what to do and where to go.
Like a grain of sand in the immensity, I was lonely… so afraid of being alone…

Published in Ariadne and Poeticism

Translated by Thereza Christina Rocque da Motta